Hysterical Charlie McDonnell Porn
by sixpacksirius
Summary: Realistic situations when trying to have sex. Not necessarily a realistic scenario for Charlie McDonnell.


Alex has been pressuring me to have sex. I don't know how to go about this. A girl has been following me home since the Apple store, she clearly recognizes me. This is my best chance.

I keep glancing over my shoulder, to see that she's still there. She's confidently awkward, trying to not look me in the eyes, but she knows I feel them burning a hole in my ass. I knew I wore my best pair of jeans today for a reason.

"Er, do you want to maybe, come to my place, and I can get you some tea, and sex. But mostly the sex?" I was fumbling over my words, and I felt my face heat up.

She looked me dead in the eyes and said "Ginseg."

I took that as a yes, or maybe her name. I turned back around and walked up the stairs to my shared house with Alex. "So, I'm Charlie."

"I know. You can just call me Crystal." 'I'm in love with a stripper,' started suddenly playing in my head.

I decided that that was enough of the pleasantries. It was sex o'cock. I turned to grab her hand and led her to my room.

I shut the door behind me, but it didn't click. I pressed Crystal to the wall and went to kiss her, but she went to take my shirt off, and we awkwardly fumbled against each other. Giggling slightly nervously, I decided to help by taking my shirt off and then start on hers. Turns out it was a button front shirt, that didn't want to come over her head. I didn't know why but she started to say, "Ow, ow. My ear, stop!" I realized the shirt had also caught her earring. I let go of the shirt and went to take off her earring, but she pushed me away, shirt over her eyes, to take it out herself because I kept pulling on the shirt when I tried.

I stood there awkwardly, my hands trying to decide if I should take my pants off. My fingers started to unbutton, but then I thought she might get really sketched out if I'm naked when she reemerges from the depths of her shirt. Then I felt my dick harden when I saw her tits jiggle out of the plaid material. She was seriously having trouble with that. Maybe I should have unbuttoned that instead...but my fingers accidentally flicked my pants open.

Once she safely removed her shirt, she wanted to rekindle the mood. She sauntered over to me. She began kissing my neck when I felt a tickle in my nose. I tried to muffle it, but while she was caressing my neck with her lips I sneezed violently smashing my chin to the top of her nose. This was the first major injury of the night.

I started to say 'sorry' but she looked at me sternly and planted our lips together again. She was having none of this non-sex. She walked me over to my bed, with me trying to keep our lips together and deciding whether or not to implement tongue usage. I tried to go for it, but she wasn't expecting it and bit down hard. I didn't cry, but it was rather unpleasant.

We arrived at the foot of my bed, and I thought we would just magically fall on top of each other in a tangle of limbs, but my lemon stories gave me too high of an expectation. I tried to sit on the bed, and thought she would end up straddling me, but with my movement downwards, I went forward a little, and she lost her balance and tried to land without falling on her face. Her knee was beside me, and the other landed on top of my legs. I laughed nervously.

She properly straddled me and began grinding, which I fully appreciated. I grabbed her ass which she seemed to like as well, due to the fact that she moaned slightly in my mouth. I didn't realize how awkward that felt. It always seemed so sexy online. I continued grabbing, pinching, grabbing again, and slightly tapping her cheeks. She quickly stopped moaning. I moved my hands over to her waist and pushed her tighter into my hips. This, she liked. We started getting a rhythm going, and I moved her hair to kiss her neck. A piece fell back into my mouth as I was only centimetres away. She tilted her neck and pulled her hair to the opposite side, but didn't grab it all, so she had to grab the shitty piece that liked my tongue too much. Once that was over, I kissed her neck properly, and contemplated the use of teeth. My tongue gently flicked her skin, and she pushed harder down onto me. That was when I decided "This is a no pants room."

"What?" she asked, clearly confused.

"Huh?" I replied.

"You said something about no pants..." she trailed off. This was my opportunity.

"Let's get naked." She looked at me and pressed her lips into a line, looking somewhat impressed. I don't know why she would.

I reached for the button of her jean shorts and tried to pull it out. The material followed with my pull, and I had to push the button into her belly, but the material didn't fully go over the top of the button. I struggled for a few more seconds before it popped off, and I unzipped her shorts halfway before it naturally stopped itself from our angle. She moved up a little bit so I could pull it down the rest of the way, but lost her balance, so I gripped her thigh. She gained control and I finished that task. I started pulling on the shorts to come off, and it dragged her pants with it, which was the overall purpose, but I felt like it should have been done in two steps. The underwear stopped halfway down her butt as the shorts made their way halfway down her thighs. Eventually I pulled so that gravity would do the rest of the job, but she was still kneeling on the bed.

She hopped down and the shorts fell to her ankles. She stepped out of them and unzipped my trousers. They weren't going down all the way, so she pushed on my shoulder for me to lay back. I complied, and she unzipped, kissing my abdomen as she started, sexily looking up into my eyes. I got a little excited, and she pulled on the waistband of my jeans. I had to sit up off the bed to give her the space to get them off, but I'm rather nonathletic, and struggled to find the right placement of my hands on the bed for support. Once I did, she grabbed the material off my butt and then pulled at the hem of my ankles. She walked halfway across my room because my legs are so long, and it was more awkward than sexy. It had a good start at least...

Crystal cupped my cock and I felt a surge of pleasure overwhelm me. A strange gurgle moan came out of my mouth as my eyes crossed for two seconds. We both tried to ignore it, but then I felt the wetness around my penis. I failed Alex.

"Really?!" Crystal cried frustratedly.

I felt the blood move from my groin to my face as she huffed and grabbed her clothes. As she opened the door, I saw Alex's silhouette from the door frame and heard a few words.

"I paid for you to have sex with someone, I guess it's gonna be me then," Alex said cheekily.

Crystal rolled her eyes, but followed as Alex grabbed her wrist and led her away.

I laid there for a second, realizing that Alex had hired a hooker for me. He's a pretty good friend, not many guys would do that. He's getting an extra special Christmas gift this year. Two pairs of socks.


End file.
